the great good place: the beauty of third spaces and self-discovery

where do you go to find yourself?

---

On a corner a few blocks down my street is a little coffee shop that I frequent ever so often. Illuminating the dark, wooden interior are the warm hues emitting from the strings of fairy lights decorating the walls. In the background, instrumental jazz gently sets the cozy mood. Here, I order a cup of matcha latte, occupy a seat at a two-person table, and pull out my laptop to catch up on coursework and work on personal projects. Occasionally, I would read (currently reading The Remains of the Day) or journal. I find this particular place to be a calm and relaxing spot, a space for me to be in my element and pursue the things I love. Although I’m not socializing with anyone in particular, it feels fulfilling to be surrounded by a community, to be here. This coffee shop is my third space. 

---

Originally a term coined by Ray Oldenburg in his 1989 book “The Great Good Place”, the sociologist describes a third space as a place separate from your home (first place) and work (second place), where there is an emphasis on socialization and connection with your community, preferably free of charge. I like to use the term more broadly; basically just anywhere I feel connected with myself, the real world and spend a lot of time besides home.

Nowadays, with endless streams of entertainment, third spaces have only become more important to sustain a balanced life. It’s so easy to get caught up in the virtual world and choose to find distractions online. This, I speak from experience. Countless times do I find myself falling victim to the trap of “doom-scrolling” on Tiktok, a routine I admittedly repeat just right before bed. By the time I’m ready to call it a night, my algorithm has landed at a place where I see people doing GRWM (get ready with me) with their pet monkeys - something I didn’t know was allowed, but is apparently legal in Michigan. Although the internet provides for easy entertainment, I find that it can be quite detrimental to how I feel. I’m consuming way too much information in such a short amount of time and it’s usually not beneficial in any way; if anything, it’s a ground for constant comparison. It’s become taxing on my mental wellbeing. But this doesn’t mean I think social media or online entertainment should be completely removed from one’s life per se. If used correctly, it can be a flourishing space to connect with like-minded people from all over. It can also be a tool for new opportunities and inspiration. The key is moderation. Striking that balance between a life in-person and online is the challenging part. 

---

In my third space, I find that it’s easier to spend time getting to know myself, explore my likes and dislikes to see what aligns with my goals and aspirations, and characterize the type of people and things I want to surround myself with. Here, I am authentic and tend to spend time doing something I’m passionate about. It feels like with every second that passes, I’m consistently adding building blocks to construct a clearer vision of who I am. I then allow this higher self to be a part of me. It’s easier for me to let go of the things that do not serve me a purpose when I come to understand my identity. But don’t be fooled - self awareness is a constant process that shall be nurtured over a lifetime.

Here’s a question for you:

How do you spend your time and 

Where is your third space?

---

Thank you so much for your reading and support! I deeply appreciate it!

I’m still working to find my particular writing style and category, but for now, I’m just excited to just pen down all things I love! Sending you all my love and take care!

- CS

Additionally, find me on Instagram here, where i post moodboards and inspos.

---